I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Randomize
