I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
She made me pour olive oil on her.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Randomize
