i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
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