If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.