I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
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I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?