Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
