She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Come see our sink grown plant.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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