I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
