You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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