And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
