Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
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