I don't think brook has ever known best
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Mom said you looked used
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize