I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
