Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
how drunk are you?
Several
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Randomize
