I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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