Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
