You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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