you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
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