Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
