i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
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