I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Randomize
