Got a toothbrush?
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
