Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
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I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
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The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.