Texts From Last Night

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  (313): View more from Michigan

  Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!

  (1-313): View more from Michigan

  "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"

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  (313): Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!! (1-313): "omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore" http://tfl.nu/6kn3
  Replies (20) Good night (686) Bad night (1445)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.

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  (847): she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick. http://tfl.nu/abnm
  Replies (20) Good night (7934) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (239): View more from Florida

  I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...

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  (239): I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday... http://tfl.nu/23uc
  Replies (3) Good night (2727) Bad night (760)
• Favorite

  (918): View more from Oklahoma

  i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.

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  (918): i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome. http://tfl.nu/yiek
  Replies (8) Good night (992) Bad night (2120)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.

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  (801): Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro. http://tfl.nu/3s7e
  Replies (9) Good night (3063) Bad night (703)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.

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  (713): I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me. http://tfl.nu/01pr
  Replies (6) Good night (1266) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (847): View more from Illinois

  Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.

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  (847): Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it. http://tfl.nu/tedk
  Replies (4) Good night (1244) Bad night (1260)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.

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  (908): Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea. http://tfl.nu/8iqm
  Replies (2) Good night (645) Bad night (933)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.

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  (832): Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles. http://tfl.nu/3k5e
  Replies (4) Good night (1620) Bad night (484)
• Favorite

  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.

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  (336): Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend. http://tfl.nu/6ua4
  Replies (4) Good night (1009) Bad night (534)
• Favorite

  (701): View more from North Dakota

  Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.

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  (701): Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man. http://tfl.nu/tr3t
  Replies (7) Good night (3061) Bad night (432)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.

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  (970): He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart. http://tfl.nu/gryu
  Replies (12) Good night (614) Bad night (1080)
• Favorite

  (204): View more from Manitoba

  I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.

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  (204): I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad. http://tfl.nu/nxn2
  Replies (5) Good night (922) Bad night (343)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole

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  (201): New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole http://tfl.nu/gxas
  Replies (4) Good night (702) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.

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  (502): I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong. http://tfl.nu/d1lf
  Replies (0) Good night (226) Bad night (149)

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