i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
