Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.