Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay

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  (202): dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay http://tfl.nu/5gp7
  Replies (9) Good night (1282) Bad night (2516) Order T-Shirt
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  You should dream of me :)

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  I'm going to dream of single life.

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  (712): You should dream of me :) (402): I'm going to dream of single life. http://tfl.nu/hb9m
  Replies (24) Good night (785) Bad night (2662)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs

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  (440): im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs http://tfl.nu/wg4t
  Replies (7) Good night (690) Bad night (2257) Order T-Shirt
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  (650): View more from California

  i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick

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  (650): i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick http://tfl.nu/pgxx
  Replies (39) Good night (3710) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.

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  (704): I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead. http://tfl.nu/olst
  Replies (39) Good night (5324) Bad night (638) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."

  (817): View more from Texas

  I was drunk but it's true

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  (262): LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that." (817): I was drunk but it's true http://tfl.nu/5hb1
  Replies (10) Good night (3819) Bad night (495)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.

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  (770): I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high. http://tfl.nu/dl85
  Replies (63) Good night (7930) Bad night (929) Order T-Shirt
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.

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  (850): Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual. http://tfl.nu/97w0
  Replies (44) Good night (13051) Bad night (1045)
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  (334): View more from Alabama

  she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.

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  (334): she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend. http://tfl.nu/rmvr
  Replies (39) Good night (1317) Bad night (5466) Order T-Shirt
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  (214): View more from Texas

  She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.

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  (214): She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box. http://tfl.nu/8utv
  Replies (7) Good night (2218) Bad night (786) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.

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  (410): Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate. http://tfl.nu/gqhs
  Replies (10) Good night (1849) Bad night (813)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.

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  (860): I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us. http://tfl.nu/pfss
  Replies (3) Good night (1594) Bad night (839) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.

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  (503): My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again. http://tfl.nu/bmoz
  Replies (7) Good night (1223) Bad night (295)
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  (719): View more from Colorado

  I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.

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  (719): I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon. http://tfl.nu/f6i1
  Replies (6) Good night (1637) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?

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  (718): He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible? http://tfl.nu/fv2h
  Replies (3) Good night (653) Bad night (281) Order T-Shirt

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