and next time when you feel me up, do it right
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
It was confusing and full of hummus
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.