Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (805): View more from California

  I just tipped a bartender in xanax.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (805): I just tipped a bartender in xanax. http://tfl.nu/pn9d
  Replies (16) Good night (3369) Bad night (646)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (315): she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game. http://tfl.nu/gk92
  Replies (28) Good night (3993) Bad night (629)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?

  (217): View more from Illinois

  I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos? (217): I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd. http://tfl.nu/vu96
  Replies (14) Good night (3857) Bad night (1757)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book. http://tfl.nu/dqxa
  Replies (22) Good night (1502) Bad night (3407)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language. http://tfl.nu/0hum
  Replies (3) Good night (2812) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax. http://tfl.nu/m9dz
  Replies (3) Good night (1323) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (506): Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes. http://tfl.nu/7d2r
  Replies (2) Good night (1944) Bad night (699)
• Favorite

  (731): View more from Tennessee

  You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (731): You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely. http://tfl.nu/nb0c
  Replies (9) Good night (656) Bad night (1466)
• Favorite

  (925): View more from California

  All I want is tacobeell and your body

  (1-925): View more from California

  that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (925): All I want is tacobeell and your body (1-925): that's my favorite sentence you've ever said. http://tfl.nu/3boc
  Replies (8) Good night (3013) Bad night (1151)
• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (617): Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time http://tfl.nu/k7i2
  Replies (5) Good night (1259) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Touche salesman.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less. (1-402): Touche salesman. http://tfl.nu/st32
  Replies (2) Good night (1208) Bad night (583)
• Favorite

  (707): View more from California

  I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..

  (707): View more from California

  WOAH TOO HIGH

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (707): I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted.. (707): WOAH TOO HIGH http://tfl.nu/n7qo
  Replies (3) Good night (1086) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (630): Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual http://tfl.nu/4rhk
  Replies (1) Good night (939) Bad night (463)
• Favorite

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (832): I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway. http://tfl.nu/6mtf
  Replies (2) Good night (492) Bad night (626)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On. http://tfl.nu/gi02
  Replies (0) Good night (607) Bad night (444)

Randomize