someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.