i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Ladies don't puke and tell
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running