ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.