he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
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