I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
handjob tips. give me some.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
