Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
