More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
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