i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
