Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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