whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
the gays at disneyland are vicious
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I passed out with the lights and tv on woke up at 4am SO confused and covered in goldfish so I ate them and went back to bed.. fuck xanax
Randomize
