haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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