That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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