I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
