I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Just to clear things up. I did not walk in on him jacking off to your facebook profile.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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