you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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