i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
