Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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