He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
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