Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
