I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
