Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I intend to get homeless drunk
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
