North Korea, Best Korea!
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
