Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
Found your dick twin last night
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
Randomize
