the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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