it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize