'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
letting you know, as a good neighbor, that when your windows open and your shade is up we can hear and see you dancing naked to money maker... nice boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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