I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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