well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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