just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Someone came in the potted fern
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
