I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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