Heybabeimwearingurpanties
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
