You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
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