whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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