I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
Randomize
